By Carol J. Culp |
The world is a big place with many different types of people. Getting along with others has always involved one stumbling block- communication. Neurolinguistics is the study of the art of communication. People use different senses or modes to convey their thoughts to others. That's one of the reasons that different people are, well, different. By understanding our own modes, and those of people we date, marry, work with or supervise, much of the mystery of conflict and misunderstanding is dispelled. Here is how it all works.
Three types of communication modes
audios, visuals and kinesthetics.
Audios are people whose frame of reference is what they hear and what they think. They are like computers; data oriented, seemingly devoid of feelings, totally dependant on facts and figures to make decisions, and able to do concentrated, tedious work for long hours.
Audios use hearing and thinking terms like: "I hear what you are
saying..., I hear you loud and clear, sounds good to me, etc."
They are people of few words who hate embellishments. They
want you to tell your story and get on with it. Give them the facts, and they will make their own determination. Give them a job, but don't tell them how to do it or they might tell you to do it yourself. Audios love math and scientific studies. Audio children love to measure, calculate, and do logic problems. These types like music that is technical. They choose technical type jobs: computers, engineers, electronics, sciences, doctors, etc.
When an Audio tells you something, it is valid until he/she tells you differently.
Thus, if an audio husband tells his wife he loves her once, it is true
until he tells her otherwise. (So he thinks.)
Audios do not like to be touched without invitation. Any display
of emotion is uncomfortable for them. Although they can be very loving, devoted mates, they seldom show their feelings to anyone.
Visuals' frame of reference is what they see. In order to understand concepts, they must first paint a picture of the concept in their minds. They have to know every minute detail in order to set the stage. They use word pictures to describe things. Visuals use phrases like: "I see what you mean..., looks good to me, it looks like..., I can just picture that." Visuals describe their feelings in word pictures: "I am so angry I feel like a volcano about to explode."
Visuals need to see it to believe it. For example, a visual wife will need to be shown that her husband loves her by his deeds and words on a daily basis. (If she doesn't see it, it isn't there.)
Visuals also like their space. Don't intrude in their space without
asking permission. When visuals listen to music, they actually see
pictures of it in their minds. Example: The words "La Mer" (The Sea) will actually conjure up pictures of big waves, the sound of the water, the seagulls, etc.
A kinesthetic person's frame of mind is how it makes him/her feel.
Kinesthetics are huggy-kissy kind of people. Kinesthetics use feeling
words freely: "I am angry, I am happy, It is neat."
Kinesthetics love to be right in the middle of things, like doing group activities, or role playing. Kinesthetic people like to sit next to you. They like small intimate groups. Kinesthetics like emotional music that motivates and moves them. They are good at picking up on other peoples feelings and empathizing with them.
Here are examples of how these groups differ. Let's say you are giving instructions on how to get somewhere: An audio will tell you: "Go 2 miles down Main Street, turn left, then go 1/8 of a mile and turn right, go 1/2
mile and turn on Grand Ave."
A visual will say, "Keep going
until you see the fire station, then turn left. Go down Mission until you see the Arco sign, then you will turn in at Longs Drug store." (i.e. what
to look for.)
A Kinesthetic person might say, "I'm going that way. You can follow me."
Purchasing a car provides another good example. An audio wants to know how much horsepower it has, how much gas it uses, warrantees, and all the facts and fixtures. A visual wants to see the car, inside and out. A kinesthetic wants to sit in the seat to see how it feels.
I remember getting a grass catcher for a lawnmower and not being able to put it together because the directions had no pictures. I
am a visual. My son (audio) had no problems putting slot b into hole a.
And now we move on to
Skunks & Turtles
In addition to the information above, there are two other divisions of
communication. Skunks (extroverts) are "in your face" kinds
of people. They "spray you" when you upset them. There is nothing
a skunk likes more than a good debate. Skunks often blame everyone else for their troubles- "It's your fault!" Skunks are outspoken and don't hesitate a minute before telling you what they think, whether you want to hear it or not. They tell it like it is without any concern for the consequences. A skunk reacts outwardly to challenge and problems. Acting to its ultimate extreme, a skunk could kill or injure someone.
ViewZone || --Comments?-- || Body Mind Spirit
Turtles (introverts) internalize everything. Turtles hate conflict and will run away rather than be involved in it. Turtles blame themselves for everything- "It's my fault!" Turtles under stress will climb into their shells and never tell you what you did wrong. A turtle acting to its ultimate extreme will hurt itself or commit suicide.
As you can see, if you put two skunks together, they will probably kill each other. If you put two turtles together, they could go days without speaking to each other. The best match is one of each.
Now, let's get back to the audio, visual, kinesthetic concept. If you are a teacher, you will need to keep in mind that your visual students will do best with graphs, videos, maps, pictures, or displays. They need to see the concept. Visuals need examples, samples, and to be shown how to do things.
Audios, however, think things over. Audios do not want you to show
them anything. They like to figure things out themselves. If the
instructions are clear, audios will usually manage on their own.
Kinesthetics do best with group activities, like helping each other and sharing information. They must be constantly reminded what they are supposed to be doing. Kinesthetics often hate tedious work. They need to feel good about themselves. They work best when they are inspired.
Keeping these concepts in mind, consider the following:
From the time of conception, the brain is being programmed to run the body. As the fetus develops organs, the brain is programmed to operate them. By the time of birth, the brain knows how to make every body part work.
After birth, as the baby experiences feelings, touching, moving, and hearing, these functions are programmed into the brain. (As a side note, scientists have determined that a child who is born blind and later receives sight will never gain the full capabilities of a person who was born with sight.)
By five to six years old, all the physical, logical and sensual functions are programmed into the brain. Likes, dislikes and preferences are recorded. During the teenage years, hormones kick in, and the brain deals with sorting out feelings. This is the time when one forms the "life commandment," based on his or her emotional experiences.
Example: My life commandment is, "Thou shalt never be good enough".
As one grows, preferences change and the brain records these changes. Therefore, something or someone liked in the past may be totally unacceptable later on in life.
By studying the information provided here, one can come to know and understand people in a completely different way. Many times, considering a persons "type" and communicating accordingly can open the doorway to a whole new relationship. For educators and trainers, this information can prove to be especially valuable.